Use It If You’ve Got It

Yesterday, I picked up a new notebook for my morning pages, as I am rapidly nearing the end of my current notebook. Current book has a unicorn on the front, pastel rainbow pages inside, and I usually go for glittery gel pens when writing in it, because what else is one going to use in a pastel rainbow unicorn book? There is a lot of pink, purple, and turquoise.

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In contrast, the new book is by Punch Studio, who have the key to my maximalist heart, now and forever. I knew, from the moment I first saw this book, in a bunch of other books on a shelf, that I would need this one fo rmy next round of morning pages. I already know which pens belong with this book, and there will be some purple involved, but a blackened purple. All of the pens that go in this book will be blackened versions of their colors: red, brown, green, blue, purple. That feels welcoming and comfy and right. What comes after that book is finished? Ask me when this book is full.

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Contrast with the other book I picked up last night, which is almost definitely going to be my new traveler’s notebook/bujo setup for 2019. For the last year and change, I have been drawing my own planners, which, while I love the result, takes a whole lot of time that could go toward writing, so a purchased planner really is in my best interest.

That may have something to do with why and how the entire Dylusions Dyalog system fell into my cart, when it was on clearance at a well known craft store. I thought I’d saved pictures of the one spread I have completed so far, but there were technical difficulties. I’ll add those later. Point is, the aesthetic of this creator is not my usual thing, but there’s an energy about it that keeps drawing me back, and, equally importantly, I already have it. Never mind that it’s a size of notebook I’ve never used before, and I am not sure yet what pens go with this paper. I need an agenda, this has an agenda, and, if I don’t use this system, why to I have it, hm? Hm?

Now. Writing. You knew this was going there, right? I have characters and plots and settings and tropes, all tapping their collective feet in the waiting room of my imagination, and I am wracking my brain for new ideas? Some of that stuff is so old, it could vote, on its own, without me. I am letting it gather dust, why, again? Right now, I am having trouble finding an answer, which is probably an answer in itself.

What am I saving them all for, anyway? The pretty notebooks, the fancy pens, the star-crossed lovers, the family saga, all of that good stuff? I am waiting for what, again?  A special occasion? Define special. When I am good enough? At what?  By whose standard? When the constantly changing market is right? Right by what standard? Is there some criteria I haven’t mentioned? Probably. It’s probably a complicated question, but the answer could be an easy one.

Maybe writing romance novels, and writing morning pages aren’t that different, after all. Maybe it’s as easy as finish one book, and start on the next. If they seem like complete opposites, or strange bedfellows, at first glance, that’s perfectly okay, as long as there’s that core of love there, that feeling that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, and the thought of getting up every morning, to face these particular pages for months at a time, fills me with enthusiasm, rather than stress.

Maybe that’s too facile a comparison, but, for today, I’m going to go with it. Not that this is going to stop me from acquiring new notebooks, or new ideas. That is flat out not going to happen, because A) I have a birthday this week, and B) writers spontaneously generate ideas, a lot of the time. Neither ideas,  nor notebooks, however, do much good if they aren’t put through their paces. Not everything is going to be a winner, but we never know until we try.

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