Typing With Wet Claws: Special Exploding Catbutt Edition

Hello, all, Skye here, for a special Monday edition of Typing With Wet Claws, because this weekend was all about me. What was supposed to happen was that Mama was going to get in the people carrier and go spend the weekend with Grandma, while Anty was going to stay home and get current on her reading. Uncle is the only one who did what he had planned, and went to work, which was a good thing, because this weekend was expensive. The fancy vet term for what happened to me is “ruptured anal gland,” but we will call it what it is: my butt exploded. I am fine now, which is why I am able to tell you about it, and Anty says I do not even have to talk about her writing first this time. This post may contain descriptions of gross things that come out of kitties, so if you are squeamish, know that I am fine, and will see you Friday.

For those who are still reading,  here is what really happened. Mama had noticed I was more interested in my own butt than usual for a day or two, but I am a tough girl and did not let anybody know I was not feeling my very best. Then, on Saturday morning, a couple of hours before Mama was supposed to get in the people carrier, I made my usual puddle in my usual place. Anty told me what a good girl I was, like she usually does (because I usually am) and then she noticed a glop of something else next to it. She put pads down on my puddle (they are called puppy pads, but they work on kitty puddles, perfectly fine) and then got a tissue to pick up the glop. At first, she thought it was throwup, but she hadn’t heard me throw up, so it could not be that. She examined the tissue, and thought it looked like blood. She showed it to Mama, who thought it looked like blood, too.

That was when Mama picked me up and Anty looked at my butt. Yes, the blood was coming from me, even though I did not act like I was in pain. (I told you, I am a tough girl.) That was when they knew there would be a big change in plans. Mama called some vets, to see if who could look at me that same day, and she found one, who is now my regular vet, because everybody liked her. I acted like my normal self all morning. I followed Uncle around, asked for food, flopped in my sunbeam, and even tried to get some of the blood off by myself. The humans were not entirely sure I should be doing that, so Anty kept an eye on me while Mama made sure Uncle got to work. Then Mama came home and she and Anty put me in the cat carrier, which then went in the people carrier (humans call this a “car.”) Anty held my carrier in her lap the whole time and talked softly to me, because I like soft voices. That kind of helped, but I still knew where we were going.

When we got to the vet’s waiting room, there were a lot of other pets. There was a chocolate Lab puppy (they did not have a tail, but they did have a waggly butt anyway) and a huge brindle and white pit bull who did have a tail; it was waggly, too. His papa told Anty and Mama that he loves coming here, until they go in the back. I think that is a smart pit bull. There was also a curly orange dog, who wanted to be friends with the pit bull. I was very interested in what they were doing, but I stayed in my carrier.

Until, of course, we got in the back. The vet tech took me out of my carrier and put me on a soft blankey so I would not be cold on the table. She also told me how pretty I am. She is very smart. She asked Mama and Anty if I was there because of my bloody butt, and Anty said she thought I might have had a ruptured anal gland. The vet tech checked and said that is exactly what happened. Then the vet came, to double check and to decide what I needed. I got a shot and some pills (they are liquid; Mama and Anty have to team up to get me to take them) and the vet told them how to put warm compresses on my butt to make it feel better. I am a tough girl, so I do not always tell them. The compresses will also tell them how the site is doing; I might have blown all the gunk at once, and now only need to heal. One of the pills is in case I do have any pain, and the other is an antibiotic. The pain pill makes me a little sleepy, so I get extra naps, which I do not mind.

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Me at the vet. Can you tell the blankey has a dog bone design?

The vet also gave me a cone of shame, in case I started going at my butt again, like I did before. So far, I have not. Mama says we already paid for the cone, but it does not look like I am going to need it. I do not know what they are going to do with it if I don’t. Maybe I can be a kitty martini for Halloween. The top picture is from when the vet tech showed Anty how to put the cone on me. Now she knows. This concerns me. Anty did distract me while we waited for the vet tech to come back, though, by playing me relaxing music on her phone, and showing me a movie she made, about ducks swimming. I was very interested in that movie, until I realized the ducks were doing the same thing over and over. Anty should make longer duck movies, next time. I am not into short films.

Anty says it is time to wrap things up, because I am perfectly fine, and she needs the computer. She is right. I am eating and socializing and asking for attention, and am even a good girl for my pills and butt compresses. Mama says I have an expensive butt, but everybody agrees that I am worth it. Until next time, I remain, very truly yours

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See you Friday….

Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling
(the kitty, not the book)

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